1995 — TWENTY: A
Shorty the pimp
He walks with a limp
He gets all the ladies
Shorty the pimp
Hey Easy E,
Was up homey? Hows your balls? Mine
are great. How’s Valerie DiGiovanni? Tell her I said
Skoonie! How’s Weetize and Dee Dee? Tell them
Skoonie for me too. Its alright here in the God
Posse. Some people dress funny.
Anyway there are 2 hot dudes on my mind. This
dude named Kyle Kempner and this other dude
named Ryan Manning. I liked Ryan on the first
day but the 3 day Andrea stole him. So now I’m
obsessed with this dude Kyle. He is the epitimy of
FINE! He’s all that and then some- tall + handsome.
Tell Weetzie to tell Waffies I said 8 inches.
Freaky Fresh!
Bye punanny
Franny Marie
This is the first half of a massively huge note given to me by Jackie - one she had spent days working on, including getting other people, such as Franny Marie above, to contribute. The second, much meatier, half should appear here shortly.
Among the other inside jokes (some referenced above), she and I used to sing the Shorty The Pimp refrain to each other, during the one year of school we were together. I never even knew where the lyrics were from, even though I knew how they went, until I unearthed these passed notes 10+ years later and googled them. I think I find that both hilarious and depressing?
What I find really awesome is that Franny became a total metalhead somehow in the time from this note (the last I ever heard from her) to about 2004 or ‘05, when we discovered each other on MySpace. She moved to England and got married to another metalhead and all I know about them is that they have the most deliciously demented senses of humor and are seriously fucking metal. MySpace is the only way I keep in touch with her, but she leaves the best comments ever, and I do not say that lightly:
- Exhibit A
- Exhibit B: “Dieser Bildschirm war auf Deutsch? Ja? Sehr sprachlosSEIENDER Verstand. Warum vertrauen Bären den Menschen? Dieses ist meine Esel Bohrung, bumsen sie ja.” Translation: “This screen was on German? Yes? Very much speechless speechless-be-being that understanding. Why do bears trust humans? This is my donkeys drilling, bumsen it ja”
- Exhibit C
- Exhibit D: “Ever been to England? This is exactly what its like”
- Exhibit E: “My husband said all of my friends on myspace are hideous ugly land manatees except for you. I think he meant that as a complement.”
- Exhibit F: “pictured above, a new species found. the world’s first Eve. This clever photographer was able to lure the creature out of its grassy hiding place with the promise of a treat. The animal is very agile. It spends most of its time crawling on its belly in the tall grass like a snake. But, here it demonstrates it’s climbing skills, like a monkey, although tailess.”
