Page from an old diary, circa 1995
PAST NOTES
analog instant messages
you have found my collection of passed notes from the 90s, welcome.
spanning from the beginning of 1995 to junior year of high school in 1998, a note, reproduced verbatim from the original with the exception of all names, is posted to this blog in the order I'd received it. each post contains one note, and a brief narration of the back story as best I can remember it.
there will also be, from time to time, relevant photos, songs, videos, links, objects, quotes, diaries, poems, and other ephemera (all admittedly completely self-indulgent and wince-inducing).
you have found my collection of passed notes from the 90s, welcome.
spanning from the beginning of 1995 to junior year of high school in 1998, a note, reproduced verbatim from the original with the exception of all names, is posted to this blog in the order I'd received it. each post contains one note, and a brief narration of the back story as best I can remember it.
there will also be, from time to time, relevant photos, songs, videos, links, objects, quotes, diaries, poems, and other ephemera (all admittedly completely self-indulgent and wince-inducing).
Oct 24
Oct 13
“ Ever notice how happy kids don’t write in their diaries very much? They don’t have to. Life’s too fun. Diaries are for when life isn’t fun. They’re for figuring what went wrong.
Oct 04
Who the hell was Henry Lee Lucas, right? He was once considered America’s most prolific serial killer. I used to quote serial killers in my Hello Kitty diaries. John Wayne Gacy, Charles Manson, David Berkowitz, Ted Bundy, etc. So precocious!
Oct 03
Jul 02
Jun 03
“ There are no positive terms for a strong sexual woman. Whore or slut do not equal stud.
May 31
“ And you as well must die, beloved dust,
And all your beauty stand you in no stead;
This flawless, vital hand, this perfect head,
This body of flame and steel, before the gust
Of Death, or under his autumnal frost,
Shall be as any leaf, be no less dead
Than the first leaf that fell,—this wonder fled.
Altered, estranged, disintegrated, lost.
Nor shall my love avail you in your hour.
In spite of all my love, you will arise
Upon that day and wander down the air
Obscurely as the unattended flower,
It mattering not how beautiful you were,
Or how beloved above all else that dies.
And all your beauty stand you in no stead;
This flawless, vital hand, this perfect head,
This body of flame and steel, before the gust
Of Death, or under his autumnal frost,
Shall be as any leaf, be no less dead
Than the first leaf that fell,—this wonder fled.
Altered, estranged, disintegrated, lost.
Nor shall my love avail you in your hour.
In spite of all my love, you will arise
Upon that day and wander down the air
Obscurely as the unattended flower,
It mattering not how beautiful you were,
Or how beloved above all else that dies.
— Edna St. Vincent Millay
May 30
“ Goodbye proud world!
I’m going home:
Thou art not my friend,
And I’m not thine
I’m going home:
Thou art not my friend,
And I’m not thine
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
May 29
“ I toss and turn you presence disturbs me
Seethe and burn you ignite me
You move away but not too far
You move away but not too far
I need to know just where you are
cuz I keep track of my friends
And I keep track of my enemies
Who is who, who is who it changes daily
Seethe and burn you ignite me
You move away but not too far
You move away but not too far
I need to know just where you are
cuz I keep track of my friends
And I keep track of my enemies
Who is who, who is who it changes daily
— 7 Year Bitch, from “Icy Blue” (1994)
» Ben Is Dead
this was my absolute hands down favorite zine when i was in high school. my favorite part of Ben Is Dead were the quotes at the bottom of the pages. I copied many into the pages of my school planners and diaries. Such as:
“The living are dead on holiday” — Murice de Maeterlinck
“I like killing people because its so much fun” — The Zodiac Killer
“Death is the sound of distant thunder at a picnic” — W.H. Auden
“And because we have breath in our mouths and thoughts in our head, we shall assume that we are alive, whereas we are really dead.” — Rudyard Kipling
May 24
May 23
“ Tell me is something eluding you, sunshine?
Is this not what you expected to see?
If you wanna find out what’s behind these cold eyes
You’ll just have to claw your way through this disguise
Is this not what you expected to see?
If you wanna find out what’s behind these cold eyes
You’ll just have to claw your way through this disguise
— Pink Floyd
“ In the desert, I saw a creature, naked, bestial, who, squatting upon the ground held his heart in his hands, and ate of it. I said, ‘Is it good, friend?’ ‘It is bitter… bitter,’ he answered. ‘But I like it, because it is bitter and because it is my heart’
— Stephan Crane
May 21
“ i wish that i could see the stars
instead i slash the deepest scars
instead i slash the deepest scars
— eve cabot, ca. 1995
